Gessell Frisbee – Page 3 – The Realistic Homeschool Mama

Making the decision to take your child out of public school and to begin homeschooling can be exciting...and a little scary! Deschooling is an important process that will help both you and your child to more easily transition from public school into the homeschooling lifestyle. Knowing how long you should plan on deschooling can be helpful as you start looking ahead into the next year. How Long Does it Take to Deschool from Public School? The amount of time needed to deschool will be different for each individual child. However, a good rule of thumb to start with is one month of deschooling for each year spent in school. Deschooling becomes more important the longer your child has been in public school. A first or second grader may not be impacted as much as say, a fourth grader. Transitioning too quickly from a public school mindset into a homeschool mindset may cause a child who has been in public school for several years to resist the changes and have trouble adjusting. How much time you should spend deschooling also depends largely on the child's personality and temperament. Some children handle change better than others. Some children struggle with change and may become rebellious, or overly emotional. How long it will take your child to deschool is something you, as their parent, will have to determine, and it may not be as cut and dry as you would like it to be. Allow yourself to feel out the process as you go through it. Allow fluidity as you navigate these new waters. Another aspect of deschooling to take into consideration is what your future homeschooling plan is. Do you plan to follow a particular style or method of homeschooling? Are you planning to unschool? Has your child expressed interest in studying in a certain field? If you plan on following a traditional curriculum, then deschooling may not be quite as important then if you are planning to say, unschool, or a variation thereof. At the end of the day, how long you need to deschool is completely up to you. Only YOU can decide what is best for you, your child, and your family as a whole. Just keep in mind that it is probably better to error on the side of "too much" deschooling than not enough (or none at all). Creating a healthy and peaceful space within which to transition out of public school will do nothing but help as you navigate unfamiliar territory. What is the Purpose of Deschooling? First of all, if you still aren't sure what deschooling is, first go read Deschooling: What Does it Mean, and Do You Need to Do It?, then come back here! The purpose of deschooling is to allow both your child and yourself the opportunity to re-learn, or rather “un-learn”, the traditional approach to learning and education that is instilled in us from a young age in public school. If your child has been in any form of traditional school they will need a period of time to transition into a more relaxed and holistic style of learning. If you, as the adult, also attended public school in your childhood, you may also need time to transition into this new approach to life in general. Sometimes deschooling gets confused with unschooling, but they aren't the same thing. If you need some more clarification about the differences between the deschooling and unschooling, I wrote an article clarifying just that! Go check it out if you still have questions! How Long Does it Take to Deschool a Teenager? Going through the deschooling process with a teenager may take longer than with a younger child. I personally would recommend allowing no less than six months to deschool a teenager. Some teenagers may struggle with transitioning from public school to homeschooling simply because they may have been in the public school system for longer. It is not uncommon for a teenager to become sullen or irritated during the beginning of the deschooling process, simply because their nervous system is regulating down from the stresses of public school. Be patient, and remember this is a big change for them as well as for you. Keep lines of communication open and focus on building your relationship with your teens. The Benefits of Deschooling Advantages of deschooling: Allows your child’s brain and nervous system to reset at home. Allows you time to observe your child’s learning style so that you are better able to guide their education when you start homeschool. Gives parents time to research homeschool resources, Homeschool methods and homeschool groups and activities. Gives your child the opportunity to explore things that they are interested in learning more about. Allows parents time to also deschool and explore their beliefs surrounding school and learning. Decreases power struggles between parents and children and sets up a healthy dynamic moving forward. Strengthens the bond between parents and children and the family unit as a whole. Provides a fresh start and helps to lay the foundation for a healthy homeschooling experience. Is Deschooling Necessary? Deschooling is not required, but it is necessary if you want to help your child transition from a traditional school environment into a more holistic Homeschool environment with as much ease as possible. While you may be tempted to skip this crucial process, deschooling is one of the most beneficial things you can add to your family's homeschool journey. Be sure to check out my blog post Deschooling-Necessary Transition or Waste of Time, if you'd like to read a little more about why deschooling is so necessary in creating a smooth and peaceful transition into homeschooling. How Do You Know When You Are Done Deschooling? You will be done deschooling when you stop worrying about when you will be done deschooling. You will want to be done before you are truly done, and that feeling of wanting to be done so that you can get back to the “important” part of learning is actually what deschooling is all about. We are trying to break through that uncomfortableness, that sense of panic with the idea of doing NOTHING. When you stop worrying that your children are falling behind, or that they are not learning enough, or if you are ruining their lives, then you are almost done. Honestly, the entire deschooling process usually ends up being more for the parents sake than the child’s. Us adults need deschooled much more than our children do. You will see yourself change. You’ll stop basing your decisions off of the model used by the world and instead of worrying about what they are not worrying, you will become interested in the moment that your child is experiencing. As for your child, when you see them start to look forward to "educational" activities that they may have previously resisted, and when they start to show a sense of confidence and an ownership in their daily activities, you'll know they are almost ready to add some structure back into their lives. Remember to be patient, let things unfold naturally and embrace play. You'll know when the time is right.